A few of my friends in the blog community have been posting letters to their sixteen-year-old selves. I love reading them. They are quite thought provoking. It left me thinking what I would tell my self if I could. If I could write my little sweet self, I would tell you this:
If you're reading this right when you turned 16, you're ridiculously excited because you can finally date! . Kudos in letting the boy you will date ask you and not jumping the gun by asking him. Its a good lesson to learn and will serve you later in life. The boy you're thinking of right now, you'll make a year and a quarter commitment and ride that out, but I have to tell you (somewhat reassuringly) it will end. Don't work yourself up thinking that this relationship is the 'one' nor worry about him when you begin to feel like its not. In fact, I recommend not spending the later 6 months of the relationship debating if you really want this, let it go once you start feeling it. Enjoy his friendship, and treasure the time. You'll reminisce later, but ultimately, he'll move on and so will you.(In fact, he'll have a girlfriend in less than a few months after you guys break up. Yes, you won that bet.)
Since that will be the case, spent some more time with your girlfriends and with that one crazy guy friend of yours. One of your girlfriends will turn out to be your closest friend through college and even marriage (but I won't tell you which one.) So invest in all of them, wisely. Your girlfriends are precious. And so are you.
You worry a lot about how you look, its in part because of some of the 'friends' you choose, if any guy or girl for that matter begins to joke about you losing weight, dont internalize it. In fact, go ahead and quit being their friend. You wait to do this far past the due date, and then have to sort through a lot of comments just to realize that none of them were true. Listen to your mom, she knows the truth and sees that your 115 pounds is just fine. (And it is.)
On that note, you may not realize it, but I think you vaguely do....your parents really matter. You end up spending a great deal of your senior year with them which later influences your college years. Your mom is incredible, and there's a TON more to her than you know. You get to find out how strong she is and how wonderful she is in college. Your dad will end up talking you through some of your most gut-wrenching college lectures and your mom will comfort you through a good chunk of your young adult life. So appreciate the sweetness of hanging out with them and laughing with them. You'll get to later, but its not the same as when you see their faces everyday and your mom does your laundry. By the way, you should thank her for that.
Now there's a friend of yours in particular that you need to let go. Its a boy, and he's mean to you. Your mom was right, he's not worth investing in a friendship. Listen. Its okay to have some friendships die so that you can spend your energies on the people that really care for you. You don't realize how much your friends treasure you and you chase after friendships that don't really matter. Luckily, your friends are more loyal than you are and they stay by your side. Choose not to put them through that. Treasure them. You have INCREDIBLE friends, who grow up to be even more remarkable people.
Be apart of their lives...don't insist they're just a part of yours.
Other than that, I'm happy to say you turn out okay. You find out who you are even after your sister leaves. You end up having an
amazing college roommate and some really great college girlfriends.You land a pretty sweet gig and you marry a man with a beard (weird I know!) He ends up being even better than you ever dreamed up at 16, or 21 for that matter, and you live in a big city and help people that live there. Your college years are really fun, but don't spend so much time looking for 'the one.' You actually meet him right away (like...first semester) but aren't ready for any type of relationship anyways, nor will you realize how awesome he is for a while ..so quit while your ahead and wait for him to tell you (and trust me he will tell you Loud and Clear.) You make some smart moves in college and you pick the best guy on all of campus (and all the other campuses in fact) to be your husband. and you turn 21 without having partied and are quite okay with that. Your choices aren't the average college experience, but leave you with some dignity that you didn't go with the flow.Everything turns out really good. There will be times when you think I've lied to you and it doesn't feel like it...but trust me, it really is wonderful.
I want you to work really hard at this one thing: Pay attention to the here and now and stop worrying about the future. Think "One Day at a Time." If you dont, you'll race through your life and feel like you've been cheated. So just stop and rest.
Now go hug your mom, call your friends and invite them over and don't' spend so much time on the phone, get out and travel your tiny town and take pictures! You later will put these pictures in scrapbooks and treasure these moments fondly!
Over all, britt I've gotta tell you, Life turns out even better than you hoped it would.
What would you say to your 16 year old self?If you choose to write a letter and would like to share it, link it in the comments and I'll be sure to read it. Its such a good thing to think about....Happy Friday!
