Its crazy to think just under two years ago, You and I started to seriously talk about being in a relationship. Its even crazier to think that even two years before that you had asked me to be your girlfriend, and I told you I never would. Haha! I'm so happy I was wrong.
You have prayed over me when I'm struggling with believing in Christ, in my purpose or in having joy. You dance with me in the kitchen while food is cooking and watch silly drama t.v. shows with me to dissect relationships. We talk regularily about how 'we're doing' in our marriage and when I make suggestions, I see you trying to make those suggestions a reality.
You're willing to love on me, and to grow and to support and to be far more of a spiritual leader, and a Godly husband than I ever thought I could even hope for (especially this early on.) I feel so incredibly blessed to have someone who is so wise, so loving and so ridiculously good looking!) I'm really, incredibly proud of you.
Despite snow warnings, cold weather, and tired days, being here with you is by far the best decision I have made second to accepting Jesus. Thanks for waiting, and for choosing me and for rocking this whole marriage thing.
P.S. Smart thinking, having us take pictures on our first outing together-it would mark the start of very magical things indeed.
Not gonna lie, this week was a rough one. But still a very very good one.
Awesome things I'm thankful for:
* Having an awesome husband who says ridiculously funny things. And tells people that he "belongs to that one" while pointing at me.
*Aldi stores, you give us two weeks worth of food costing 44$ per week. Breakfast, lunch and dinner baby.
* Dr. Pepper....nuff said
* LDI program, and that awesome feeling that my life is going to get significantly more awesome.
* Our friends. I forget how refreshing it is just to sit across from sweet friends. It was such a perfect end to a busy week (Thanks Nardine!)
* Jesus being more than enough, and promising he'll come again. I'm cool with you coming sooner rather than later...just sayin.
* A husband who when we see a thrift store, starts to pull over (haha-I love my husband)
* Halo. In that its the one video games i'm actually pretty good at, so I can play with Ben.
*This picture:
* The experience of getting to watch 21 children at the science museum. woot.
I've been really pondering about what the purpose of blogging is. I have a friend who's professor talked about how blogs are attempts at autobiographies by insecure, self gratifying individuals. Many individuals of the older generations look at blogs as narcissistic.
I think they may be right. A lot of the blog world (at least what I've seen ) would potentially (almost definitely) fit into this category. Not discluding myself. I get excited when something I write is enjoyed by someone else and I feel giddy over the idea that I'm 'followed.' As if my everyday happenings are important not only to my loved ones (hi mom!) but some others out there in the blog sphere. Little freckle faced Brittany- when a follower is added thinks " Wow, I do count!"
This reflection on blogging, purpose for it, andmy life and purpose in general has really left me pondering. Especially in the state of exhaustion that has been these past few weeks, I've begun to question really where I gain my sense of achievement and satisfaction. At the end of the day how do I reflect and decide if the day was accomplished or not?
I have friends that have a straight up answer. I've heard " If I can list off 10 good things that happened to me in that day, it was a success!" While I love this idea (and have incorporated it into my sleepy time routine) I feel that some days, I have had many a good thing happen to me, yet I still do not feel a sense of deep satisfaction that with this one precious life I have, I've lived it to what is was worth.
So then, how do I go about gauging my success or my own identity? Without giving the obvious answer of 'Christ'-which by the way is the obvious answer, I find that I feel most successful the days I am thankful, and the days I'm surrendered.
I just spent a few hours looking at a blog that had an awesome Christ-centered girl…. with tattoos, piercing and married to a rough looking man, then I examined another of a sweet Pentecostal girl, with pretty skirts, long hair and a strict code of conduct. It was even quoted "Many people call themselves Christians without being willing to look the way God has called us to."I found my self thinking "where do I fit in to the too extreme life views?" After praying about it a bit on a Friday night I realize this is the answer: I don’t.
While my views on appearance and the way we should interact with the world are most likely quite a bit different from both of these beautiful women, I appreciate one thing about them both. They look to Jesus for their identity.They look to him for their source of joy, guidance and abundance.
The days that I find myself looking to myself, or my peers for joy, or trying to figure out where I 'fit in' amongst my christian cohort; feeling the need to prove myself to those that I feel accountable to, I fall asleep feeling I am simply not enough. I haven't done well. I've let others down. And to be honest, I am a failure.It is then that sweet message of Jesus and his awesome Grace, Forgiveness and his sacrifice becomes so much more impactful. With out him, its true, I am not enough, with Him-In Christ, I am all I need ever be.
I hope that this truth will become so part of my regimented thinking, that I can find that fulfilling joy daily and that from his righteousness I'll be able to move and bless. I want to go to sleep thinking "Today, Christ was enough."
I think there's a lot of stuff in my life that I put before him. I end up constantly chasing, feeling the need to change, conform, figure things out on my own.I don’t want to do that anymore. I want HIM to be who I look to for affirmation, for conviction and for joy.
And with that-
An awesome song:
Hope that whoever reads this, that they choose to look to Christ for the identity, and hope. We really won't find it anywhere else. In Christ, We're enough.
I am the queen of lists. Most of my notebooks through college were filled with lists of things to do, to be, my favorite things, you name it-I've listed it. Taking the awesome skill I've developed, I thought it would be a fun use of time to list 10 things I'm thankful for. So for the very first one. Here it goes
I'm thankful for...
the husband I married and how he brings me flowers whenever he gets the car to himself. Even in dead winter.
Nacho Libre, and the ridiculous amount of pee-my-pants moments I've had with Ben's incredible impersonation skills. NAACCHoooooooooOOOOooo
Muffins. They are delicious.
Comic books. I've become apart of a niche group of people that are pretty cool. Albeit pretty nerdy, but cool.
3 years of an IT job. You have saved my computer a number of times and for this I thank you.
Taylor Swift. She's my much needed country-pop fix. and she has pretty hairs.
a heated garage.
Saturday mornings-sleeping in makes me a very. happy.panda
A compliment I received the other day. Most of you don't realize this, but Brittany is incredibly crafty. She sews. Every outfit Brittany wears-she's probably made half of it."
Dreams. They keep me going. and make me very. very. excited.
My all time favorite band is The Civil Wars. They were more of a local southern band when I first heard of them back in late '09 and have since become quite the popular sorts.
Maybe you have heard of them, if you haven't Please, dowload their first free album here and then thank me for revealing to you the awesomeness of this band.
P.S if it seems like its been rather quiet this week, its because it has. Ben and I have been running around even most evenings and have been working on crashing computers, working with families and church events. I suppose collecting exciting things to share about here :) See you soon
Two nights ago we reenacted our entire relationship with gummy bears.
This makes me very very happy. It makes me happy that a) you remember all the funny little details of our newbly love b) we were actually were using gummy bears to illustrate our life, c) that it was at 10:30 at night....and your voice of what I sound like is very high and yours is very low-not at all like real life.
A few nights ago, I was sitting with my amazing man of a husband. While reading, I had a moment where I felt a pretty dire need to plan out everything. ( These feelings happen often.) I start to get overwhelmed if I don't have a plan. Its then when I begin to tell Ben what I would do If 'i really could.' These dreams that I share with him, and the way he responds always bring such a deep and satisfying peace to my soul.
The conversation generally goes something like this:
" Oh Ben, do you think its possible that I could some day... {insert desire here.} "
Ben asks me a few questions about different things I've said I've wanted.
{Then my favorite part happens.}
He then says " Okay Brit, this is how its gonna happen....." He then will detail all the steps we'll take to achieve all our dreams, including even the small things like little weekend trips and baking cupcakes.
Its moments like these where I am struck with the profound awesomeness of marriage. It reminds me of this verse:
9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up. 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Ben has been such a source of joy these past 6 months. He encourages me when i'm struggling and helps me up when I've fallen. He prays over me and helps me refine and achieve all my hopes and dreams. Its such a joy to have him. I've accomplished more of my goals since being his wife than I had without him. Whats so incredible is the how having a friend like him helps me really even figure out what I want, and pair it with what I actually am fitted for. Its been so encouraging to have him say "Brittany you really would succeed in this." I hope everyone has a friend that can know them enough to encourage them to achieve their dreams and not let them settle with something less.
Me: What if you woke up and I turned into a snowflake over night?
Ben: I would scoop you up and put you in the freezer
me: But how would you know me from all the other ice?
Ben: I would put you in a special cup
me: But what if i was afraid of the dark?
Ben: I'd leave the light on for you....
Me: How do you know the cup is 'special'?
Ben: I labeled it.
My favorite game in life is asking my husband ridiculous questions, and hearing his very serious responses.
I can rest assured, if I do in fact turn into a snowflake-I married a man with a plan.
A number of years ago I had a dear friend of mine that read quite a lot of books, and rather big ones at that. Quite the brainy sort, and is proving to be even brainier than anyone could imagine. Shout out!
Never the less, during one of our days frolicking through the town we grew up in, I found out that my dear friend owned the complete works of C.S. Lewis. I borrowed it. (Yes, my friend is rather nice.) and took it home to then..sit on my shelf for over two years. Last night I opened that sweet book and fell in love with Mr. Clive's writing style, his honesty and downright brilliance.
So I'm charting the waters of good ol Lewis and hope to finish his book in just a month or two. If you've never read, or have been meaning to read something that will strengthen, challenge and explain so much about the Gospel that we believe in, grief, pain, or even humanity, I'd recommend Lewis. He's flippin Brilliant
and his wife too.
Hope you read him, at least once.
P.s. Dear friend, I will return this book to you. I promise.
Woohoo! Its actually 2011. Its insane how fast life seems to go by, but its such an incredible adventure. I've had like 60 gazillion ideas of how I would start this new year.
Most of all of us work hard to begin improving who we are, what we do, or become more of what we hoped we'd be. I think for this fancy new month, my goal is to very simply start exploring what God would have for me, rather than begin improving in areas that I think aren't good enough.
How do I plan on doing that?
First, I'm allowing my self a month of rest. (funny right? the month of 'lets get things done!' is the month i'm taking a step back to reflect.) There's a few impressive books written by Christian authors that go through biblical studies to explore what God has for men and women and I look forward to picking out one or two in the upcoming days. But most importantly I'm going to simply celebrate what God has been giving and what God has done in my life as I explore what he has for this year.
The 'reward' is obviously the products of this month of searching Christ, but..I threw in a nice pedicure just for the fun of it. (I'm already looking forward to it!) maybe Ben will join me? ( Guys get pedi's too!)
I hope you're year has already been full of laughter and joy.
I plan on putting a few reflecting posts on just what God has been doing in my life, as well as reflecting on what the future has for Ben and I, our careers, and even this blog.
Happy New Year!
What are your new years resolutions?
