I have decided a few things and wanted to let you know of my discoveries. Thanks for listening. First off, over all you've done pretty well by me. In your duration of being with me, I've been placed in a kickin family, married an incredible husband and I've had almost 22 years of days filled with sunshine, Jesus and memories of laughing till tears ran. I'd say that you've been pretty good to me.
And while you've been pretty good to me, you haven't spoiled me, in fact sometimes you haven't been kind at all-and I want to thank you for that too. I've had days of doubt, days of failure, and days where things really were not as I hoped. I've tasted rejection and pain, and stuff that makes me still grieve when i think about it, but I know there's a point for all that too. I've become all the more content with my joys and even learned how to find joy in grieving. So thanks for giving me a dose of hardships to balance the sunshine and rainbows. I know you're not done with this part, but thats okay. I'll count it joy all the same.
You've given me the opportunity to learn the concept of being content in all circumstances and above all things to obey my God no matter what. One of my favorite quotes is this:
Be not deceived, Wormwood, our cause is never more in jeopardy than when a human, no longer desiring but still intending to do our Enemy's[God's] will, looks round upon a universe in which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.. (Screwtape letters, C.S. Lewis [mine] )
You're letting me practice the act of choosing to obey. I know that this alone is what your about.
So, In just a few days I get to start a whole another year. Lord willing, I'll live for a few more and get to experience more joys and more trials. Based on the past 21, I'll probably have a few sunshine-filled days and a few darker ones too. I'm cool with that. God has given me a lot of you, life. And I think anything I get from this point-pain and crises included-really is just added blessing, especially because it makes me all the more like Him.
Thanks for getting me this far. Thanks to our maker for giving me legs, and arms and lungs and a brain and a heart and all the rest to keep it running so i can keep experiencing you. I'd say that alone leaves me a pretty blessed gal.
Over and out.
Britt
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