Man In The House-A How To

I read this post about a young lady adjusting to marriage and things her husband does, and I started to laugh. And then I began to think of the pleasures I've gotten to experience myself in this past year.

Get ready kids, this is about to get exciting.

Here are some things I have discovered about men and by men i mean 'a man':

First, The average man does not see dirt as a bad thing. In fact, he doesn't see it at all. When he is told to clean, he thinks 'put away.' But actually 'clean' well, that is simply not necessary.

Except with Dishes. He's pretty good at knowing that that food on that plate doesn't go there.

Second, Men are able to throw things in the laundry-they just would rather not. Women, you'll think your clever when you buy 3 laundry baskets and place them strategically where his clothes normally fall. Don't waste the money. The clothes will land. But they will land just outside of the basket.

Tips:
However, if you buy laundry baskets that are low enough, there's a 50/50 chance that they will actually land in the basket. When this occurs, consider this a success. Buy them closer to the ground then his arm+the clothing article is. This will at least promise some success. Enjoy it.

If you bring this laundry thing up lovingly (and by lovingly I mean sweetly jokingly-not necessarily requiring any action,) he will smile, and may even pick up the things that are currently on the floor. And you may even think to yourself "progress!" But don't get frustrated when it happens again.

A much better approach is to turn it into a "show me how awesome of a basketball player/manly man you are." Gather all the fallen laundry and put it in a pile a decent distance away from the basket, then say "Husband, come show me your manly skills." This will increase intrigue and he will come. Then challenge him to throw all the clothes into the laundry basket. Give him points. And retries.

You'd be surprised just how much fun he will have, and how much victory you will feel as each piece of clothing falls where it belongs. Yes, he knows that you're doing. He knows exactly what you're doing. But he's okay with it-after all, he's getting to be awesome.

Thirdly, He will have ONE task. that he does awesome. The rest he'll do, but not with such zeal. When you find out what it is-realize that's his territory. For my husband its the dishwasher. The man has an order. And he takes it seriously. Don't complain-he's loading the dishwasher and doing it better than you would. Respect.

and Lastly-You will organize his drawers and his closets and will potentially even do a little categorizing since you're a little OCD, and you will be filled with pride. When your husband opens up those drawers, be prepared. This is what he will notice: " Wow, I have all my clothes washed!"
And that will be very exciting. He will not however notice "wow these are all folded and put perfectly in order and in categories."

Go ahead and just show him. Say " Look at what i did!" This will allow you the satisfactory applause you are looking for, and he will then be released from staring at a drawer filled with clothes and wondering what the heck you're talking about.

Important Note: None of this stuff is worth getting into an argument or bitter about. If you think it is, go ahead and make a list of all the things he does do. The little stuff and the big stuff and the medium stuff. Like working hard at work, and taking  you random places just for the fun of it, or listening for HOURS as you talk about some random interaction you had with a girl and you're not sure if she 'really understood your intentions' then list how he helps you with breakfast, or how he takes you on walks and helps you fold laundry even though you know he hates laundry. Or how he takes you out to eat when you say that you hate your kitchen.
Then, count these. Then times them by 20.

That is the actual amount of things he actually does for you. Now your silly list seems ridiculous. In fact, you might want to call him and praise him for how awesome he is.

The correct response to this stuff is to smile, shake your head, apply grace, and move on. When it is repeated, smile, shake your head, crack a silly joke (NOT a sarcastic joke) then apply grace and move on.Then write a book about it so that other wives can smile, shake their head, apply grace and move on.

It really is the best way. Pick battles that actually make your marriage better.

Consider yourself wiser for reading this post.
If you read it twice, you will be twice as wise.


P.S. I can just see Ben's version of this now. #1 "She will talk for hours-and she will just want you to listen. For hours. No, you can't fix it even if you have an obvious solution-you must. sit. and. listen.. Yes. for hours"
#2 She will have ridiculous needs. "I need a prettier garbage can" You will thing "its for garbage.." She will think "It must be bedazzled" Just Celebrate her.

This is going to be our conversation this evening.