One night not too long ago, I was hysterical over how ridiculous this all is. The next day, 20 details got figured out. Sad how it takes this girl one big ugly cry before she prays it all out and relinquish imaginary control.
This whole experience has shown me far too often how little I trust my Savior. I'm glad to have this opportunity to be made aware. It's refining: A hard, painful, stressful refining, but refining none the less.
My friends have called me easy-going and I want to laugh and tell them to come over to the sprague house. Bless that poor man that comes home to my fuzzy head every day. I even yelled at him over the phone this week because Eowyn squeezed an applesauce on his dirty clothes. Why was this bothersome? It isn't. Unless you're crazy. Ben laughed because he knows my brain is broken, now. Bless him.
2. Eowyn is starting to pronounce words correctly. This is sweet, but that means she's growing up. Somebody, hold me.
3. I'm going to miss Target. A lot.
4. We found out where we will be living!! This was very exciting news.
Well, until I looked it up on google maps. Tip to people using google to solve all their problems of feeling out of control: take a look at when pictures were taken (right corner in street view.) When you look up your new residence in giddy excitement and see that it doesn't exist and instead there sits a giant rubble pile, you'll get a little nervous. Until of course, you realize that image hasn't been updated since 2006. Then go to instagram hashtags to see what an area looks like. People post a lot of pictures of #allthethings. Relief will flood in.
We'll be living in a land that is literally translated to 'dude island.' Fight the jealousy, people.
In all seriousness, we're very excited. It seems lovely.
5. It has taken us far less time to get rid of all our things than it took to accumulate them.
6. We're taking a red eye from MPLS to Amsterdam. I actually think it will go quite well. Thank you to all the kind faces telling us how great overnight flying is. You're encouraging (even if you're lying to us.)
7. We're excited to get through our to-do list and board the plane. We keep saying that a couple months in, once we know how to get to and from work/grocery stores/group gatherings etc., get health benefits all figured out, and have our very own bed, we'll have that 'exhale moment.' I look forward to the day where my brain checks out for a while and I actually feel like I'm home. When Ben comes through the door and asks "what do you want to do tonight?" and it doesn't involve building Ikea furniture or figuring out how to translate a grocery list? That will be a night of celebration.
8. God is proving to be even better at the details than I am. This trip is causing me to love Him even more.
9. There is a kind older woman who sits out on her driveway in the summer. Nearly every day last summer during our walk through our neighborhood, we saw her and always came to talk and pet her cat, 'Nosey.' I was sad thinking I might not get to see her before we left, but I got to see her this past week and Eowyn even was able to talk with her (she put on quite the show) and shriek over the cat! He's the kindest cat I've ever met. It blessed my heart so much and I'm going to miss them.
She always asks me every week if this is our only child. Right after our first miscarriage, she asked me as usual, and it hurt to reply. Yet, I did. When I did, she said for the first time: "I always hoped for more children, but only had one." I told her our story then, and she responded so calmly and so patiently. She has brought so much goodness to me and my girl. God has used her in so many ways, I'll miss her dearly.
10. This blog post from Ann Voskamps Blog blessed my heart so much this past week. This idea of 'soul care,' and even asking our souls hard questions has changed a lot of my thoughts this week. I've found myself being reminded of this post and have been moved by the practice of focusing on soul care and moving away from my constant 'self care' emphasis. Even her example of "Soul, why are you so angry?" has been profound to me. I've used this question (insert varying emotions) on myself and she's right. Asking questions like these does lead me to prayer. Love that lady.
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In less than two weeks we'll be waking up on another slice of the world. That's the most exciting thought, and most heart wrenching. From here on out we have a big to-do on our list every day. It's going to go by fast and I know it.
So, Brittany. When you scroll through this in a few weeks trying to remember the haze remember:
Remember, most of the stuff you're stressing about are first world problems, most of which will be completely solved before you have most of your furniture set up. I pray our family is hyper aware of the gift that all of this is and will choose joy when it all seems to be less than hopeful.
The way God works in the '4th and 99,' how details you didn't even anticipate were taken care of for you, how much you really aren't very good at being in control anyways, at God's timing with all of it-even from a year ago. Think of the way, over time, God has brought all things and worked it to good. How in death, there's regrowth and how crying over distance is a good thing to cry about. Think of how blessed your friendships have been. Remember that the boxes filled with your treasures will still be here when you cross the pond back again, that stuff isn't the point, but this adventure is a beautiful gift from the Almighty. What an incredible man and little girl you get to experience it with. This is 100% gift. This is something that we've dreamed about and prayed for. Praise God it's two weeks away!
Two weeks goes by fast. See you soon, Helsinki!
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