When we were on the house hunt, we got to stay in a hotel for a few weeks before moving to an airbnb and then moving into our home. One thing that always surprises me is just how small a space feels, and then how it quickly grows large enough.
I have so many thoughts I'm still processing over this entire move to New Hampshire. We felt it coming back in October, but I assumed a move wouldn't be for another year or so. I remember being pretty pumped that 2019 would be a 'chill year' especially since I had found so many incredible women to journey through life with there in Alabama.
So to then, come February, be on an airplane moving to a place we've never been (which has been our track record at this point) was a bit of a ride. I was basically just holding on to the hope that at the very least, the autumns would be pretty.
When we moved to New Hampshire, we immediately looked at homes the next day. The market here is so different from the south, homes we loved last week were already gone. So to find the house we hoped for and put an offer on it over the weekend, and had it accepted...well, it all felt a bit crazy but totally the norm here (praise God he accepted the offer, as there were two other offers on the table as well.)
A month later, we moved in. A few days after that we slowly began the process of unpacking all our belongings and finding a new home for them. We keep reminding ourselves. "bit by bit."
Now that we're six weeks in, two weeks in our new home, looking back at the photos of our time in our hotel feels like ages ago. I think that is the nature of things when we feel like we're mostly underwater.
Ben's work has been a bit of a change of pace from Montgomery. While not crazy amounts of overtime yet, the demand is much higher, meaning new norms for all of us. On the Homeschool front we've found a promising co-op, and an exciting group through wild+free. I've found quite a few more resources on the homeschool front, which has been a major beacon for me. It feels like a really good move on that front.
We've attended a church that we're really enjoying, but are often reminded we're not in the south anymore. People are slow to warm up, which while expected, reminded me of that long season of loneliness I experienced when we first moved to Finland. I've cried my share over the realities of no longer being 'known.'
While it isn't nearly the same (friends are coming much easier this time around. Praise!) It still has been good to do some heart work on how much identity and function can be shaken in the unknown for me. I've learned it takes about a year for me to feel like I know which way is up, another six months to feel like a place is our own. After that, its a bit heartbreaking to leave a place. Knowing how long it takes, it really has just been a reminder of taking things day-by-day. Hoping to be surprised if the pace quickens, rather than being discouraged when it feels heavy.
While we're familiar with transience, goodness we are excited to feel a sense of rootedness.
When we moved (and much of the reason we chose to say yes to this move) it seemed promising that New Hampshire would be long(er) term for us. While we aren't sure whether we'll get to be here for the duration of the project + production support any longer (perhaps it was always wishful thinking? only time will tell.), we're still grateful for the time we have here and especially grateful to be out of the hotel space.
Fortunately I've learned, regardless of what space we inhabit, we know how to have a good time.
About a year ago, I began unpacking just how much 'fear of man' played a role in so many of my decisions. I think its been a trying, but seriously encouraging thing to see the way God has carried and called out some of that trust in moving us again. Remembering to present myself genuinely, and without pretense has often been absolutely terrifying (Type enneagram six, where ya'll at?) as I calculate worse case scenarios. Yet, the more I realize that 'for such a time as this' we get to be here, the more I realize there's work prepared in advance for us to do, the more I feel bold enough to just keep showing up.
a total "yay god" as our dear friends in MN used to say: about three weeks ago Eowyn commented "mom, I still don't have any friends." at bedtime. I responded "me either, baby." and it was absolutely crushing to realize how long it takes to establish friendships. My prayers that night were pleading for God to allow us some connections.
This week, the girl can list three girls by name that are her age that she thinks will be future friends. In the process, this mama has met some pretty beautiful souls as well.
"bit by bit." God keeps showing me he's gone ahead and I'm resting in that.
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